This guy needs Tony Robbins stat!
October 28, 2009
August 24, 2012 at 4:39 am
THEY SHOULD HAVE TATTOOED HIM SOME BRAINS ON HIS FOREHEAD INSTEAD
December 15, 2013 at 11:14 pm
One day, shortly after a new ink-parlor had opened in town, this man was walking by as the proud new owner and his minions stood outside -smoking something.
So they say to him: “Wanna make a quick hundred bucks? Check this out…!”
He graciously accepted their magnanimous offer and stepped inside, where, two hours later, he emerged from the chair in which he’d sat, then stepped back out into the streets -with nice new tattoo indelibly inked into his skull, the text tiered upon his scalp in a stylish, 72 point old English font!
But there’s more…
He soon found himself in a near-by liquor store with his new-found wealth, purchasing a pack of cigarettes and a fifth of Gentleman Jack (Daniels). I caught up with him later that day in Red Bluff City Park on the Sacramento River -where I sat down at a picnic table, had drink and listened as he spoke to me of this strange tale which had gone on behind head.
Later that night (I learned), he was arrested on a charge of public intoxication -stumbling back and forth in front of the new parlor, screaming aloud the script which had been scrolled there…
Tehama County Superior Court had been hearing a murder trial that week, and a number of people -myself included- were following the case.
Waiting for court to convene the next day, I decided to step downstairs into misdemeanor court and observe those proceedings instead, thinking I might learn what should befall the man after such a boisterous, uninhibited display -and I was not disappointed.
About thirty minutes (and several cases) later, as I stood there and watched, a hand-cuffed man was escorted into the room and led across the floor to a podium at the forum’s center.
The judge on the bench, lost in concentration, had been signing-off on the previous matter, oblivious to the room itself -when suddenly, he looked up and beheld the man standing there before him in all of his unabashed glory…
Visibly startled, the magistrate bolstered himself, summoning restraint before calling for a recess -then hurriedly retired to chambers. The people, astonished, were taken aback as though stuck, turning one to the other in wide-eyed wonder.
The hand-cuffed man was directed to a near-by chair; and, turning to take his seat, faced the on-lookers for a moment -and in that moment, their questioning minds were suddenly sated; and a giggle-mingled murmur spread across the room.
Then, from the behind the bench and beyond closed doors, piercing solid oak and embroidered drape, a blood-curdling cackle peeled across the room. And only half-second more elapsed before the spectators themselves, too, burst out in a thunderous roar.
Returning to the bench, the judge called the room to order, apologizing, saying he really need a good laugh that morning; and bemused, thanked the man and summarily dismissed the case, awarding time served -no fine, no cost.
So, what do you think about this man and his head -if you think about them at all?
In closing, let me say only this: there is no need feeling sorrow or compassion for him; he was quite pleased with himself -and genuinely happy, having found the adulation and notoriety he once craved in having become the talk-of-the-town; and when next I spoke with him some weeks later, he left me with impression that he would do it all again – “…in a heartbeat!”
But the road goes ever on. This was ten years and six-thousand miles ago.
I like to think FTW considers himself a happy man these days, busily walking about town carrying his message to everyone he sees; but I may never know.
Fuck The World! Maybe I’ll get a tattoo, too…
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